Holy crap, Internet. STOP SHOWING ME ADS FOR SHOES. I bought ONE PAIR from you MONTHS ago. Don’t make me kick you with them! — @SaraMG

Dear LinkedIn, I don’t need a reminder; I know you exist. Sending me this many mails about people I don’t know makes me wish you didn’t. — @terriko

Check out how I am sick of my clojure feed being filled up with how I solved 4Clojure problem n #clojure. — @abedra

The talent agent that shares the floor with my office is still on AOL. I hear “you’ve got mail!” throughout the day. It’s not ironic. — @snipeyhead

Going to an ironic cocktail party themed party tonight and a costume party 12k race tomorrow morning. Ah, SF. — @harthvader

It’s said that 10,000 hours makes you an expert at something, and I just realized I’m at 10,000 tweets. Does that make me an expert tweeter? — @pamelafox

Flickr notified me that I was tagged in a photo but my name was spelled wrong. How did it know it was me? — @yardi

I find your lack of pants disturbing. #replaceawordinastarwarslinewithpants — @darthvader

Funniest thing I’ve heard RE: C++ —When the only hammer you have is C++ every problem looks like your thumb. — @bdudney

Haven’t written this in a while: public static void main (String[] arrrImAPirate) { } — @invalidname

A simple regex can make life so much better. — @cdwarren

Entropy as a Service. #eaas #thankmelater — @abedra

On a bus going to a secret location! Might not be secret, maybe they told us and I wasn’t listening. #zeitgeistym yfrog.com/h0xsoifj — @anna_debenham

I know induction works because it has worked reliably in the past. — @stuarthalloway

Oh Randall. :) One for the geek feminists! http://xkcd.com/896/ - Marie Curie — @ginatrapani

Thirsty Bear was mobbed, watching 3d YouTube with 2 color glasses fun. Dinner at Mel’s now. #io2011 — @eburnette

My review is coming up at work. My boss just informed me that he is going to rate me a "2-needs development" on drink ordering. — @snipeyhead

Looking up the nutritional content of Rum during an office discussion on Scurvy. — @Poshy

...& many folks report that drinking makes it easier for them to not be shy. But, people, you can’t just get drunk every day. Doesn’t scale. — @pamelafox

Also, free beer to anyone who can distract Ward Cunningham long enough to make sure he doesn’t attend my session. #intimidated #osbridge — @ElizabethN

Clojure; It’s the new Ruby! http://t.co/2LXDglL — @slagyr

“It’s in Dropbox” is the new “It’s on the wiki.” — @anildash

Planking—it’s the new vogueing. — @BXGD

Whiskey wine—it’s the new pear cider!! yfrog.com/hscymwcj — @liammcguire

Popular in Canada, it’s the new big in Japan. #eurovision — @bowendesign

Amish. it’s the new hipster. RT @Holl_x: Amish twerker party — @Liz_Money

I’m pretty sure this bus is fueled by desperation. It’s the new bio-fuel, I’m told. — @sketchset

People had better get used to gas prices at around $4/gallon. It’s the New Normal. — @RockDots

And yes, Alabama is wearing camo hats. It’s the new houndstooth. — @WarBlogle