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The early reviews of Microsoft Surface are in and they’re... too early.

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Microsoft Surface: The Early Snark

I can’t put my finger on it, but there’s something superficial about the early reviews of Microsoft’s recent tablet announcement. Personally, I’m still waiting to see Microsoft Depth, but while I wait I thought I’d share some of the early smudges on Microsoft Surface.

Why Microsoft Surface has a keyboard? How else would you do CTRL+ALT+DEL? — @honzasterba

Sorry but Microsoft Surface looks like it’s afraid of being touched—kickstand, keyboard, stylus all keep fingers away from touchscreen. — @riptari

Danny Sullivan pointed out that Microsoft wasn’t too keen on letting journalists touch the Surface, either, which kind of undermined all those “hands-on” reviews. Also he contributed this prime snark:

I don’t care that much about a kickstand, much less one that has perfect-pitch sound. Danny Sullivan

A lot of the early snark was about the announcement itself.

The “Surface” video, which is of a computer rendering, is hosted on youtube. That says everything. — @perrymetzger

THIS STORY CONTAINS NONE OF THOSE THINGS RT @rodtrent: Microsoft Surface specs, price, release date and more. | CNET UK — @JBrodkin

No idea on battery life, adapter size, price, or other miscellany. Yesterday’s Microsoft Surface announcement was severely incomplete. — @ChrisPirillo

That burger was sloppier than a Microsoft Surface announcement. — @SteveStreza

But this is Microsoft, so we can always look forward to Announcement 2.0:

Next week, Steve Ballmer will demonstrate the Microsoft Surface by using it from the inside of an underwater volcano. On a snowboard. — @cjoh

Steve’s quite the showman, but I’m not sure Google didn’t raise the bar with its recent Google Glass event. (“If the skydivers live, this’ll be an awesome demo.”)

Some took the occasion of Microsoft’s announcement to make fun of others, like Dell:

People don’t want a Microsoft tablet, says former CEO of dying company whose products no one wants, either. (Dell) — @mims

Acer:

The first sign that Microsoft’s vaporware tablet might be successful: Acer saying it won’t: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/06/21/acer-microsoft-surface-tablet_n_1615939.html — @pragpub

Apple:

Microsoft’s hands were forced—an engineer left a 60-inch surface table in a bar. — @jkendrick

British politics:

Mr Cameron on the phone. He’s put a #microsoft sticker on the back of Mr Clegg’s Etch-a-Sketch and told him it’s a new Surface Tablet. — @Queen_UK

and everybody else:

To take a break from the snark, this does look better than what any of the Windows hardware partners have been producing lately. — @jeff_lamarche

Danny could be wrong about the kickstand. It seems to be a meme. Although I’m not absolutely certain that these tweets were about Microsoft:

I need a kickstand because I’m on lean. — @ForkWhippinRich

$1.50 a cup & I’m leanin’ like kickstand. — @RealMikeMontana

Yo momma gotta peg leg with a kickstand. — @ImSoEfficient

Life Lessons Learned

Learning to accept that you may very well already have had the best idea of your life is tough. — @dhh

You haven’t really learned anything until your behavior has changed. — @ellnestam

I’m astonished at the value to be gained from predicting the outcome of every programming experiment out loud beforehand. — @KentBeck

Every webcam should come with a small comb. And a toothpick. #justsaying — @gvwilson

APIs are the new business contracts where you don’t have to do a deal! Great until the terms are changed on you and you are screwed. — @dalmaer

With big push to online education http://bit.ly/MELQh6, how will students learn vital business skill of staying awake during staff meetings? — @marick

Who Are Those Guys?

They’re not all guys. Also, we have to confess that we cleaned up their punctuation and stuff a little. OK, who they are: Dion Almaer, Kent Beck, Jon Brodkin, Ola Ellnestam, David Heinemeier Hanssen, Clay Johnson, James Kendrick, Jeff LaMarche, Sean Love, Brian Marick, Perry E. Metzger, Christopher Mims, Mike Montana, Natasha, Chris Pirillo, Purple Promethazine, Honza Sterba, Steve Streza, Danny Sullivan, Michael Swaine, Greg Wilson, and Elizabeth Windsor. You can follow us at www.twitter.com/pragpub.