If you‘re a web designer, you really, really need to get a cheap Dell monitor so you can see how bad your site looks on it and fix it. — @anna_debenham

.@tobins I think bug trackers should automatically close any bug with no description and “sometimes” in the title as “cannot reproduce.” — @invalidname

Ignoring feedback means that the system will eventually experience a massive unpleasant surprise rather than a small unpleasant surprise. — @jwgrenning

On code encapsulation: “You’re trying to protect against Murphy, not Machiavelli.” — @malcolmt

All things become clear when you extract the method. — @jrasmusson

Every decent programmer I know learned by bashing together crappy bits of code in a crappy programming language. Start there then get better. — @nzkoz

On average, cross-language benchmarks say a lot about 1 programmer, and a little about n languages. — @stuarthalloway

Arrogance is a strength when you’re right and everybody else is wrong. Not so much when you’re wrong though. — @KentBeck

Seize the day, bro! In 10,000 years, all that will be left of you is your skeleton. And your plastic Live Strong bracelet. — @mktgdouchebag

[Neal Ford] is in some circle of hell right now—the AutoUpdater is in the process of updating itself, so that it can check for updates. — @neal4d

Someone actually sent me a friend request on Facebook today. It felt very 2010. — @gvwilson

My little brother and I couldn’t decide if we wanted to go for a run this AM or a sauna. Luckily, in Omaha, they aren’t mutually exclusive. — @scottdavis99

Documenting someone else’s code is a bit like writing fan-fiction. — @stuartsierra

Trying to figure out what I was going do with my extra leap second, then wasted it on this tweet. — @neal4d

OH: “Thin Mints is just a marketing scheme. If they called them Fat Mints no one would buy them.” — @jaredrichardson

Idea for a new programming language: Subjective C. You write code and it behaves differently depending on the compiler’s mood. — @zeh

I really hope Jessica Biel names her first child Batmo. — @ali_harter

If anyone else has ever tweeted about Calvin Coolidge and (an allusion to) phone sex, I’d like to know. #could_be_my_unique_contribution — @marick

Can you imagine being Vint Cerf and having to respond to moronic “the government deserves no credit in creating the internet” op-eds? — @marick

Now that Higgs Boson has been found, they’re just using LHC to smash together new Taco Bell menu items. — @pourmecoffee

Michigan’s record-breaking temperatures prove hot enough to bake pizza in car. — @invalidname

As long as science has worse marketing than politics and religion, we’re stuck. — @bmf